The most important determining factor of success or failure – at work and in life – is self-awareness, the ability to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world.

For millions of years, the ancestors of humans evolved painfully slowly. However, about 150,000 years ago there was an explosive development in the human brain where, among other things, we gained the ability to examine our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours, as well as to see things from another’s point of view. Not only did this transformation create the foundation for art, spiritual practices and language, but it came with a survival advantage for our ancestors, who had to work together in order to survive.

Though we may not face the same day-to-day threats to our existence, self-awareness is no less critical. There is strong scientific evidence that people who know themselves and how others see them are happier. They are smarter, superior students. They raise more mature children. They also tend to be more creative, confident and less aggressive.

But for most people it is easier to choose self-delusion（自我欺瞒）rather than the cold hard truth. Our increasingly “me” focused society makes it easier to fall into this trap. Recent generations have grown up in a world obsessed with self-esteem（自负）, constantly being reminded of their special qualities. Not only are our assessments often flawed（有缺陷）, but we are usually terrible judges of our own performance and abilities – from leadership skills to achievements at school and work. What’s scary is that the least competent people are usually the most confident in their abilities.

How can we avoid this fate? We must work on two specific types of insight. Internal self-awareness is an inward understanding of our passions and aspirations, strengths and weaknesses and so on. And external self-awareness, knowing how others see you, means understanding yourself from the outside in.

It would be easy to assume that someone with internal self-awareness would also be externally aware – that being in touch with our feelings and emotions helps us tune into how we’re seen. Strangely, research has often shown no relationship between the two–some studies have even revealed an inverse（相反的）one.

For those looking to gain true insight, remember that other people often see us more objectively than we see ourselves and that self-examination can have hidden pitfalls（陷阱）that make insight actually impossible.